I'm blogging today and that's good too.
It's not fun stuff today because I'm going to take a minute (or 5) and stand on my blogbox. (Like a soapbox only on the internet.) I will eventually get pictures of all the fun halloweeney stuff, but today I have an issue.
You see, last night at a Halloween party I overheard one woman asking another woman a very deep and personal question. The fact that I could overhear it should suggest that perhaps it was an inappropriate place. I mean, we were all sitting there. Now this person is family to the woman she was speaking to but that doesn't actually make her question appropriate.
She asked, "Did you get the wish of your heart?" Everyone knew what she was hinting at because of the
Wow. Can. of. worms.
(I will fully admit that I wasn't brave enough to speak up about it in that moment- but I have my own reasons that're nunya. And I'm speaking about it now because it's BUGGING ME.)
What a totally personal question to ask! I mean think about it for a minute: there's biology involved, perhaps the timing isn't right, perhaps the ph balance is off, perhaps one or both partners is infertile. There's emotions involved, perhaps she longs to be pregnant and shared her longing and her sadness that she wasn't and hope that soon she would be (in a previous conversation where the family member learned about her "wish of her heart") in an attempt to be real and vulnerable, not an attempt at a popular status update or fodder for future party conversations. There are relationships involved, namely between the woman and her husband. Maybe there are issues and they're not having sex (back to biology here). Maybe they're stressed out and it's messing with their chemistry (again, biology or chemistry or sciency stuff). Maybe she wants a baby but her husband doesn't, or vice versa. Maybe she longs for one physically but can't figure it out financially and is thus holding off. Maybe she worries about her health and has crazy bad morning sickness for 9 months and is hoping to have a newborn even with all the sacrifice it means. Maybe she's had miscarriages before and is scared. Maybe she was pregnant last week and miscarried but isn't ready to shout from the rooftops her pain. Maybe she started her period that morning and her hopes were once again dashed.
And maybe the questioning woman was feeling awkward and didn't have much to go off of and so she brought up the one nugget of information so she felt included. Maybe she is naive and didn't think it would hurt her feelings. Maybe she felt like because they are family its ok? (Family trees do not make you inherently privy to details in another's life. That's a soapbox for another day.) Maybe there's a whole can of worms that she didn't mean to get into, she just needed something to say.
Whatever the case was, my heart hurt for the woman being asked such a private question in such a public setting.
So let's all take a moment to think before we speak. And on the occasions that our mouths vomit questions before we realized the damage, let us be willing to own our mistakes and say I'm sorry.
I'll step down now. You can get back to your Facebook overload of cute costumes and sugar comas.
27 days until my birthday if you want to send me a present :)