Sunday, May 1, 2011

Yard Sale Weirdos

So much of the weight that has been on me in recent months has lifted.  Piece by piece it was taken away by strangers and friends who came to our yard sale.  As far as furniture goes we only have our bed, the boys' beds, the kitchen table and my grandma's coffee table (and two folding tables but they hardly count because they fold up).  There is still a lot of stuff- bikes and luggage and camping gear and toys and whatnot- but I am amazed at how simplifying just the amount of furniture clutter clears the other clutter in my mind.  Thus far I like this simpler way of life.  Hope I can keep it in perspective for a while.

A yard sale is one quick way to find all the crazies that live near you.  (Disclaimer: I did NOT put "no early birds" in my ad---but given the dismal turn out for our last yard sale I thought it superfluous. I have learned my lesson folks.) On Thursday the weather was nice enough that the boys and I decided it was high time Nena got a little scrub down.  Having already checked the weather and knowing precipitaion in one form or another was due within 24 hours I knew it was a little silly to wash her.  But sometimes it makes you feel better to get dressed up even if only for a few hours.  And due to the lovely Spring the birds are out- and thus they leave their marks on our car- poor Nena was in dire need.  There we were minding our own business when a little black car pulls up in front of our house.  Not a big deal.  Being close to an intersection we have random people pull up in front of our house all the time to get better directions or answer a phone call or turn around. Rarely does anyone ever get out of their vehicle.  Enter crazy number one.  A lady who reminds me of a Madam-Sophia-palm-reader-with-crooked-lipstick gets out of the little black car and comes over.
"Are you selling couches?"
"How big are they?" To which I'm thinking I dunno lady, couch sized? Instead as I'm covered in suds and wielding a hose I politely reply, "I don't know.  They're just inside.  Take a look if you want." Mind you the love seat is covered in all sorts of things in my attempt to get ready for the upcoming sale. Then she goes on about what other things I'm selling.
"Any dressers?"
"Yes. Two of them."
"And how big are they?"
"One's tall the other shorter. One's painted white the other is wood colored. 5 drawer and 3 drawer."
"Can I see those?"
"Uh, no.  They're kind of hard to get to right now."
"Oh ok." She proceeds to tell me some story about her daughter but to be honest I wasn't listening much.  I just wanted to wash my car and move on with my day.  She had the info she was after. I thought she'd leave.  She did finally. We finished washing the car and went to the Zoo with Aunt Dani, Ari and Daddy. Grand time. No camera.
Return home- eat dinner- then there's a knock at the door.
It's the same lady. Different outfit. Fresh lipstick.
"Which dresser is the white one?"
Really? You drove over here to ask me that when you could just wait a few days and see it for yourself LIVE and in person.  
"The tall one."
"Oh." Some more about how her daughter has to work on Saturday and hope she can get over here and blah, blah, blah.  I'm heartless I'm sure.  The daughter probably really could use these things.  At this point I wanted the lady off my porch.  As politely as I could muster, I explained that I hope her daughter could stop by on Saturday but I'm not selling anything before then.  She left.
Not an hour later our landlord comes by- evidently he DID get my voicemail but chose to come over instead of calling. That's fine. He owns the place. Just a little tired of people I DIDN'T want to see coming over.
Then miracles of miracles a dear friend of mine showed up with this month's book club book.  (THANKS- I'm loving it so far) I cannot describe how happy I was to see her little red car with her and her hubbie in it. Friendly faces are a tender mercy.  Wish we could have visited more.  But that is life. So Thursday was jam packed.
Friday- Madam Lipstick drove by again- but didn't stop this time. Phew.
Saturday. It snowed in the morning- just frozen rain really.  But it was cold and dreary.  8:30 am- half an hour before the sale is scheduled to start.  2 cars are lined up outside our house waiting. Oh the waiting. I never knew we were so exciting.  An old man in a car with a trailer hooked up to it gets out and starts wandering the yard, presumably looking for the stuff.  Nothing in the back yard except chickens and dogs Mister and you can HAVE them for FREE. Turns out he was looking for camping gear or guns. Sorry. We're keeping those.
Anyway, there were numerous characters that came to the sale. Bought our stuff. Lightened our load. I am grateful.  And they gave me good blog material.
Now off to church.


  1. Another great character sketch that brings to mind the Mullet Family's Greyhound Adventure a few years back. I love the way you write! Remember to create a pudding ceremony or some such to commemorate the end of this chapter of your story.

  2. What is it about the yard sales? We had a fair share of crazies when we had ours a few weeks ago. One lady only had a $100 bill and wanted to buy something that was like $2. My thought: go buy a donut at the grocery store and get your change there, unless you really WANT it in quarters. There were actually a few people who wanted us to break hundreds for them. (Maybe there's a ring of money forgers slash yard sale shoppers in St. George.) It definitely made me feel like our junk was underpriced.

    And isn't it nice to lighten the load? I LOVE getting rid of junk. It's my new hobby--dejunking. :)

  3. oh boy, do I know what you're talking about... we've have a couple yard sales before and it was WEIRDO CONVENTION! We had a guy bargain with me to the quarter! for an old rocking chair and then after he got the better deal told me, "I took his money" all the way to the car. I've had people bring random stuff out of my garage and try to pay for it too (NEVER leave your garage open!)

  4. So did Madam Lipstick get her beloved dressers?

  5. Oh the Mullet Family- I'll have to drag out my journal and find that story for the blog.

    Lacy- at least we don't have to worry about the garage thing- currently we don't have one. But the guy asking about the guns asked if he could look around inside the house before. I said No. He was all shocked that we were bringing the stuff outside with it snowing. Um. Hello- I'm not letting you into my house with my children.

    And no- Madam Lipstick didn't even show up and I doubt that it was her daughter that took either of the dressers.