Monday, April 4, 2011

Like a ton of Bricks.

Had a special moment with Ian today.  
So this blog is mostly to document that- so it doesn't get forgotten. 

Ian has had a really hard time with Grandma Great's death.  He didn't want to talk about it.  He was a grump when we were there for the funeral and didn't even want to look at her body in the casket to say goodbye.  (Though I don't blame him- as I kid, and even as an adult it always felt weird to me.)  He knew her spirit was already gone to Heaven.  He didn't know how to express what he was feeling.  That much was clear.  The other day he mentioned giving Grandma and Grandpa some money that he was playing with "to help them so they won't be sad about Grandma Great."  He treasures/hoards money so the gesture of giving it to them freely was quite a significant statement for this 3 1/2 year old.  

Then today.
Another somewhat grumpy day. He won't eat and didn't want to take a nap.  So I sat down with him on his bed and read him some stories.  He seemed to calm down a bit.  I chose another story, this time a longer one in the hopes that maybe he'd fall asleep. The Hickory Chair  by Lisa Rowe Fraustino and Illustrated by Benny Andrews.  It's about a little blind boy and his beloved Gran.  She dies and leaves notes hidden all over for the grandkids to find.  He thinks he is forgotten.  Of course he isn't.  Ian and I talked a little bit about Grandma Great's funeral.  Mostly I asked him questions and he nodded.  Still too raw or too undefined to talk about.  Then I wanted him to know that Grandma Great can still let us know that she loves us.  I found the blanket she made Sean when he was a baby and wrapped it around Ian telling him it was Grandma Great's way of giving him a hug and saying, "I love you."  He's resting now snuggled up with Grandma Great's blankie.  

Hit me like a ton of bricks today.  Sometimes there are connections that we don't understand.  Grandma Brown had that connection with my kids.  Ian felt it.  I hope he remembers and can still feel that connection when he is older.  


  1. My kids have built what vaguely looks like an altar in their room with the keepsakes they got from grandma brown. They miss her too.

  2. How wonderful that you were able to give Ian the comfort of his continued connection with Grandma Brown. Matt has his "tree star" from Grandma Wittwer and I treasure the a white baby blanket Grandma Leavitt crocheted especially for him. I think this is why Aunt Theresa makes blankies, too. We need them when the ones we love are not here.

  3. This is a beautiful post, Maggie :) You are an awesome Mommy!

  4. I agree with lacy, beautiful. I have a blanket from each of my grandma's and I will never get rid of them. They just speak to me of their love.