Monday, May 3, 2010

Sometimes I look like a Raccoon :)

This is in response to my friend's blog.  I decided my comment would be far too long so I'd blog it instead:
The makeup thing made me laugh- because that is EXACTLY how it is for me- at least right now.  There are the few exception days where I get all dressed up to feel cute (they're getting more frequent as I decide to let other things slide).  But for the most part- I usually have my hair back with mascara making black circles under my eyes (to hide the other ones from sleep deprivation that WON'T wash off even if I bothered to try) Concealer goes a long way my friend :)  And if you should unexpectedly show up at my house you will find that it is a mess and I'm still in my jammies (though it's probably LONG after 3:30 in the afternoon)

Travelling: Do it. It's worth it.  You learn tricks for keeping the kids quiet (like turkey baby food for the little one and singing "5 little ducks" so many times you think it's 5000 little ducks that went out to play over the hill and far away...)  and learn to tune out the crying.  Though you'll want to have Excedrin and your favorite caffeinated drink of choice on hand for the moments you can't tune out the crying.  Oh and Chocolate- though I haven't figured out how to keep chocolate for emergencies before it A-Melts in the Car or B-I decide today is an "emergency" and eat it... So good luck on that one.  (PS I have a Moby wrap and/or a hiking pack you are more than welcome to borrow for the NM trip-as long as you don't mind wearing Tie-Dye)

One of the things that I had to adjust to was the feeling of "I have no idea what I'm doing!" but I have to remind myself that I do kinda know some stuff.  The rest of it I make up as I go along.  Though I would definitely say the hardest thing for me being a new mom was postpartum depression.  I don't know how that would factor in as mom that adopts but I'm sure there are related issues.  I have dealt with PPD with both of my boys and it's hard.  Hard to hide (though sometimes I think I am pretty good at it) and hard to accept- hard to ask for help.  With my first I felt a sense of disconnect.  I was sad.  I was grateful for the miraculous bundle of baby in my arms but I was feeling a strange disconnect that I wasn't expecting.  Especially for first time moms- they don't tell you it can happen. At least they figure it won't.  They'll tell you it's a possibility but don't give you any idea of what to feel like.  It's expected after a few kids (at least the chance gets higher) but as a new mom everything is expected to be bliss.  It's not.  You learn to deal and cope and having a good partner helps IMMENSELY!! But that still doesn't FIX it-- it's a day to day- minute to minute sometimes, thing.  With my second I was beating myself up over every stupid little thing.  I held out longer before I talked to my doctor but I don't necessarily think that was wise.  I just saw it coming this time and tried to dodge it.  Not that you can dodge and 8 foot snowball but you can't say I didn't try :)

Other than that I didn't expect the ways I learn to laugh.  Like poop cannons.  It's gross.  That's what we called it when our first born decided to poo when we were changing his diaper and it went EVERYWHERE; crib bumpers, our clothes, floor, even the wall.  Holy nastiness.  But we laughed.  Sometimes you have to or you'll just cry.   Just like the random comments in Primary that make you smile and shake your head they happen when you least expect it (but usually most need it) Yet another tender mercy.   I've learned to go with the flow and trust that things will somehow work out.  Faith is what some call it.  :)  I'm an overly paranoid worry wart and being a mom has helped me to chill a bit.  Of course now I have new worries but I think that's normal.

I'm sure there's other "wisdom" to dispense--but I can't think of it now.  Oh yeah and your brain melts sometimes and you can't remember what you're doing- what you came in here for- or what you were going to say- or what it was you were supposed to write on the list for the store.  Maybe that's just me.  But I pretend it's not.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL MOTHERS with children and without :)

1 comment:

  1. The "I have no idea what I'm doing" thing kind of has me nervous!!! It's so weird to think that we could have a child any day, no prep! I should probably get some books so that I can develop theories about child rearing and then throw them out the window when it doesn't work! Thanks for your post.

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